Working at the St. Francis has taught me that I'm not as great as I thought with remembering large volumes of peoples' names! Luckily, by the end of week three, I've learned the names of all of our staff/residents that hold positions; sadly, I'm finding that each morning I drive down the streets of St. Augustine and I recognize almost every person I see on the sidewalks, in the streets, or sitting in alleys. Some mornings it's very discouraging to see so many people struggling, but it is reassuring that we have a pretty steady flow of clients each day.
I'm finding it hard to describe the relationships I've made with clients, because they're so brief that I only interact with most of them individually for about fifteen minutes maximum. I have fostered a pretty close relationship with Maura and Beth, as well as with our kitchen staff and our handymen Kevin and Jose. I struggle morally with our ED, Renee, because she has a very different approach to dealing with our clients than I do. Without a doubt, anything she says goes, as I am the intern and she is the director, and I always hold back comments, but she has a habit of being incredibly cruel to people. My thought is, why kick people when they're down? They know they smell bad, they know they haven't shaved, and they're fully aware of the fact they may have an addiction or be unemployed for long periods of time. It's so embarassing for people to even walk through our doors, so why be rude once they buck up the courage to come inside and ask for help? I don't know about you, but I absolutely hate asking for help. I'm definitely a hard-headed little one, so if there's anyway I can do something myself, even if it's harder, I will.
The closest relationship I've fostered has been with the community as a whole; I know that sounds incredibly vague and like a cop-out, but let me explain. Case work and social work are hard. Emotionally, you deal with a lot of really heavy subjects, a lot of arguing, a lot of demanding, and then a lot of crying or children screaming. The hardest of it all is memorizing and knowing and developing relationships with other agencies or the police department or the hospital or social security. It all takes time. Trust me, I've tried to just jump in and know all of our contacts within the first week. It doesn't work, because it takes time to get your bearings and get to know a place. Now that I'm in my third week I've learned how to sign people up for food stamps, how to get social security cards and birth certificates and IDs. I'm finally gaining some bearing so that when the case managers are busy and a client walks through the door, I can give them an answer aside from, "uhhh, let me ask Beth/Maura". That way, I can actually foster a relationship with these clients instead of being the know-nothing intern that gives them a terrible first impression of the St. Francis. I'm on my way:]
3:47pm: I was just thinking about how it would be if I came back in a few months to visit, and I realized that, aside from our ED, it's possible for me not to know a single soul living, working, or simply being here. So many people I thought I've built relationships with who have stayed here and I've helped can disappear from us in the blink of an eye. That's what's so powerful about addiction for some, and for others the simple drive to never be in one place for too long, or for some unthinkable reason, that life under a bridge or in the woods will be better than three square meals at the St. Francis. So it's hard to foster relationships, because for these people, life on foot is a reality. It's hard investing so much time in these cases with the full knowledge that by tomorrow I may never see them again. For those that truly want to turn their lives around and make their lives better, I get to foster a closer relationship with them because they actually care enough to stay and receive help. But for the ones in whoms lives I'd love to make a difference but aren't ready to help themselves, they disappear. It's a sad, endless cycle, but it's part of the job.
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